Advice and Suggestions

Writing a Memorial

  • 02-03-2019

It's not something you can dash off in five minutes. Writing a memorial may be a wrenching and emotional experience, no matter if you're explaining a loss you've only just suffered or whether it's far in the past. We know this because, when we've written memorials for our loved ones, we discovered that it somehow makes the feelings feel fresh again—even if years have passed. We remember and reflect. But this processs of reflection also offers a kind of solace and comfort. The affect has been a little like a visit to your loved one's grave, where there is a location to visit, when you clear away stray twigs and tidy up fallen leaves or leave fresh flowers or a pebble from your favorite beach. Actively remembering brings times back to us. And remembering and connecting to show the memorial to extended family and friends has also turned out to be a way to remind those who may be passing by, to share and post a memory of who this person was and that he or she was important to your heart.

Honor your loved one

For some people who may have created 'No Go’ areas, perhaps because thinking about a loss is still so painful, it could take a few tries until you've written the memorial that summarizes how you'd like to best honor your loved one. Please feel free to log in and out of the site and add to the text, or pictures and videos, whenever you wish. Sometimes it will take multiple visits until you have it exactly right and have given a glimpse of the story of your family member or friend and shown us how much they affected the lives of those around them. 

Posting a memorial is also an opportunity—as we have discovered—to ramble down memory lane and take a few side trips into the past. In deciding what to say and which photographs to use in the memorial, we often dally over our own history with them, or ponder their achievements, successes, or even trials. It's a pathway to some family members, perhaps, to think about some of the times we spent together and remember how we felt and still feel at having to live without them. We've discovered that it isn't necessarily easy, but it may be soothing to explore our connections and memories in this different way.


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